EPISODE ONE
This is a brief resume of what I
knew (or, as it turned out over time what I didn’t
know) about my maternal grandmother.
For my entire life I have never known anything about her other than her
‘maiden name’. Not where or when she was born, died, married or anything else!
The only snippets I had were
recounted to me by my mother – Nina’s only child, and as you will see, even she was left in the dark it seems and
lied to throughout her life.
So – first a bit of background and
later, in subsequent episodes I’ll update you with the ongoing research and
anything I discover. This research is being done by me (a total novice, but
learning quickly) and several great genealogy researchers – but one in
particular, Nuccia who lives in Toronto, Canada
– who are helping me try and solve this mystery of my grandmother who
‘disappeared’. There have been some
quite surprising developments early on, but they do need to be ratified.
I’ll post the next episode later,
but until then – just to whet your appetite, relax and enjoy this bit of my
muddled family history…
It seems my grandmother Nina
worked in the same place as a certain Arthur Offley. They had an affair, the
result of which was little Muriel Edith – born 27th May 1913 in Handsworth, Birmingham. Her birth was
registered on 8th July 1913 – nearly six weeks after the event.
This registration shows the
mother as Nina Edmed and the father as Arthur Offley. Arthur seems to have
disappeared into the background – never to be seen or heard of again (the
cad!), and illegitimacy – being the stigma it was in those days – had to be
hidden. So at this point Nina had to move from 15 the Crescent, South Road,
Handsworth to somewhere she wasn’t known and invent a ‘poor dead husband’ Arthur
Payne, and with that (of course) the illegitimate daughter’s details had to
‘match’… Had to save poor old Nina’s dignity after all!
So at this point Muriel Edith
became Muriel Mèrcia Payne. A new ‘employer’ (sugar daddy?) was found and the
scam had to continue. He – whoever he was, clearly didn’t want another man’s
child around so was quite happy to pay for her to go away to a school that
would fit in with his ‘standard of life’.
From what my mother was told and remembers it seems he lived in the
house called “New Place”
in Stratford-on-Avon. This was Shakespeare’s ‘first house’ and my mother
remembers living there and the ‘mulberry bush’ in the garden. So the daughter
(my mother Muriel), who’s poor daddy ‘died in the war’ (the subterfuge story)
spent her holidays there and possibly went to America on one of these holidays
with mama Nina and sugar daddy when she was only a toddler.
Now having grown up, this child
(my Mum) meets a dashing army Cavalry Captain (true), but falls in love with his
handsome groom. Now Nina’s daughter needs her Birth Certificate to be able to
marry.
Oh disaster… What is Nina to do now?
Well it seems that she pretended ‘indignation’
that her daughter was marrying ‘beneath herself’ and that if she went ahead
with it she would be cut off for ever… Yes Nina used the old melodramatic ploy
of “Never darken my door again!”
This is what my mother (Muriel)
always told me. So the Birth Certificate was refused by Nina – got to cover her
‘dark’ past at all costs (the wicked woman). As long as Nina’s reputation is
preserved, never mind about her daughters happiness!
Now to sustain this “You’re banned
from my life” charade, Nina must now disappear from where her daughter can find
her. So where better than to the area where she was (perhaps) born – in Kent.
Maybe she found a position, or was still with ‘sugar daddy/employer/consort’ or
even with another employer. Who knows!
Sufficient
that her daughter can’t find her and disclose her ongoing lies. Then she was
killed (it seems) during a bombing raid in the Dover area – or so we were told. But what
name was she using? Nina Edmed? Or had she by now invented some other fantasy
life? I think that during these years she kept in touch with two old friends in
Handsworth, but swore them to secrecy about her life and her lies. She may have
listed them as the people to inform if anything happened to her. Hence their
apparent limited knowledge of her death.
I was
with my mother when she questioned this elderly couple in 1960 and they really
didn’t want to talk about it. But the intimation was clearly there that Nina
HAD lied about many things, but they would not admit that they knew
anymore about it!
So –
that was my theory, having pieced together all the little bits of the jigsaw
that were available to me at that time
in the early ‘60’s. The problem remains though, that Nina, amid all her shame
and stupidity, kept the most important pieces of the jig-saw to herself!
Synopsis
Well the ongoing research reached near fever pitch and the work was intensive for some time. So much so
that I became more and more confused and bewildered almost by he minute.
Nuccia from Toronto, and other people
– who I had never met or even heard of from sites like Roots Chat others from
the UK, Switzerland and New York – all, it would seem, as intrigued as all of
you – but none I can assure you, as scared as ME!
Following the first rush of
‘possible sightings’ of our anti heroine, in places as far reaching as Belgium,
Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Kent and even Cairo, I was ready to just chuck the towel
in and say “Thanks but no thanks” to everyone.
I was so disappointed that someone actually called NINA did not seem to exist. Plus all these
other possibilities and links were all
missing any trace of her during those vital years from about 1935 to today!
As I explained to
Nuccia, and as I posted on Roots Chat I
just HAD TO STAND BACK for a while, gather my thoughts and try and put into
context exactly what had been discovered! No mean task – believe me.
So – if you are sitting
comfortably – here is 'where I’m at……' It still doesn't’t tell me
where Nina is ir was though. Geez – was she thorough in covering her tracks, or
was she thorough?
Episode Two
OK - here's
what I think the ‘Nina’
story MIGHT be - at least from what I have collected so far on her 'rather
colourful' background.
The family we are looking at here is a British Army family. The father
Frederick William Edmed was born in 1863 in England and was (it seems) a career
soldier. He was, at some point posted with the army to Halifax,
Nova Scotia in Canada
where he met Mary Ellen Stapleton (b. 1869) and they were married in a ceremony
in Halifax in
1886. This was recorded in the British Army Returns for Marriages 1886-1890.
CERTIFICATE
Some time after that he was posted, together with his new wife to Egypt to take
part in the British army occupation there at the time.
This may have
involved his participation in such campaigns as that in the Sinai Peninsular or
even the military events in 1889, which, besides the battle with the Ethiopians
included the crushing of a revolt in Darfur and the defeat of an expedition
sent against Egypt,
marking the climax of Mahdist expansion.
ENTER HERE A soldier of the time in Egypt...
Now while all
this hoo-hah was going on in Egypt
dear old Frederick
was busy making sure that his wife was fully occupied. They had the following
children during and shortly after his posting to Egypt.
Frederick William
Edmed.
Born 1889 in
Alexandria, Egypt.
Muriel Edith Edmed (Nina...). Born 1891 in Cairo, Egypt
Victor Claude Edmed. Born 1895 in Malta.
So the Edmed family
carried on with their army life and we believe they may have been posted
elsewhere later, and ultimately back to England.
Then, surprise
surprise, our Muriel Edith Edmed pops up in Wandsworth in London where she gets married. And of all
days she chose the 25th December (Christmas Day) 1911 when she
married a Charles Newcombe. The marriage certificate shows her father as Frederick
Edmed – Army pensioner and Painter. The groom’s father is Frederick Newcombe a
cook, and one of the witnesses is no other than Muriel’s younger brother Claude
Victor.
So I know now that
this Muriel Edith Edmed is NOT an only child and that on two separate
visits she registered her own daughter’s birth as follows:
1. Muriel Edith Edmed,
daughter, Born 27th May 1913 in Handsworth (Birmingham). Mother’s name Nina Edmed.
2. Muriel Edith
Offley, daughter, Born 27th May 1913 in Handsworth (Birmingham). Mother’s
name Nina Edmed. Fathers name Arthur Offley.
But I still
don’t know why the fictitious character of Arthur Payne, or that of Muriel
Mèrcia Payne, were created – but it’s not too hard to guess is it?.
We have found no trace
(so far) of what happened to Charles Newcombe – he may have been the
father that Nina told her daughter had died early in WW1. The timing fits…. I
say this because the next surprise that we find is that Muriel Edith Newcombe
(neè Edmed) has married a Richard Gunter in June 1924 in Islington in London. Maybe Charles was
declared ‘missing, presumed dead’ and she had to wait seven years to be
able to re-marry OR maybe he (Charlie) cleared off when he found out his
dear Nina (?) was expecting a child barely eight months after he married
her….. But then again, maybe they were divorced - who knows? That
was for her to know and for me to
find out!
Richard Gunter might
have been the sugar daddy (?) who my mother remembered in Stratford-upon-Avon and who "sent her off to
school". She would have been just eleven years old when this second
marriage took place in 1924 and I rather suspect she was not party to, or (maybe) even
aware of it!
Looking at the
situation with the change of first name from Muriel to Nina and the sudden
suspicious (and twice registered) birth of baby Muriel, I presume that
Nina was disowned by her family for bringing shame on them – IF that was
because of the sudden appearance of Arthur Offley….. hence the Nina’s story of
my mother being the only child of an only child….. When
all the time there were grandparents and two uncles, and later their
families too. Nina’s army background would also fit in with her displeasure at my
mother wanting to ditch the army captain she was walking out with to
marry a lowly (Nina’s words) army lance corporal!
Now the work begins in
tracing what happened to the Newcombe family – they were from London
too – but maybe they just left England
to escape WW1. But if they did, did Charles go with them I wonder? It seems
that they may have emigrated to Massachusetts
– but that needs to be followed up too.
The Edmeds it seems
might have returned to and settled in Halifax
N.S. – but once again that has to
be verified. Did Nina get out too, with Muriel, before the outbreak of war? Was
this the story my mother told me about? That she had gone to the USA when only
little…. This was the photo of her that Mum always believed (was told) was
taken in America….
The photo of Muriel (my mother) aged about
1 year (1914) - supposedly taken in the USA!
Oh Nina what
a cruel and tangled web you wove…..
Could I really have
some relatives on my Mother’s side or am I really, really here ALONE?
So, here ends Episode
Two….
For obvious reasons
Episode Three may be a little while before being written!
